Nothing’s worse than a bummer birthday! It’s no fun to be on the receiving end of a terrible gift or poorly planned celebration, and it’s also a horrible feeling to be the one who made the blunder and ruined the day! Here are five tips to keep you from entering the birthday fail hall of fame!

5 mistakes to avoid when planning a friend’s birthday!

1. Putting someone on the spot

Some people are more private than others, and if there’s any day of the year that they should be allowed to stay in their shell and just do their thing, it’s on their birthday. They might not like being the center of attention. So consider this when choosing your activities, and for heaven’s sake, if you eat out, don’t tell the wait staff to sing the birthday song or smear dessert on their face. This can be pure agony for the introverted birthday boy or girl!

2. Pushing your agenda on the recipient

Perhaps you think your friend should lose a few pounds, so how about buying them a gym membership? Or maybe you think they haven’t given Scandinavian Death Metal enough of a chance, so you buy them a Visceral Bleeding anthology. BAD IDEAS! This is a special day and a celebration of who the person is, not who you wish they were.

3. Throwing a surprise party

If you’ve been going through a lot of stress, a room full of people jumping out from behind furniture and yelling “surprise” might not be a good thing. Just having to navigate a party you hadn’t planned on can be awkward enough in and of itself. There are countless surprise party fail stories, and that’s one party you don’t want to join!

4. Insisting on a cake

Some people are gluten-free, and others are on diets for all sorts of reasons. The goal should always be to provide a happy birthday experience, not to uphold a softly defined tradition at the expense of the recipient.

5. Being too practical when choosing your gifts

I once bought a girlfriend a spare tire for her birthday. It didn’t go over. She cried. Luckily when we were driving to dinner, one of her nearly bald tires blew out. She still didn’t forgive me.

The overarching advice here, is to know and consider the person who is having a birthday. Maybe they’re the outgoing type who would love having a surprise party or getting Mexican custard smeared on their nose. Or, possibly they’ve really been wanting and needing a spare tire. The trick is to really think about who they are and what they like when planning for their birthdays. If you’d like an awesome gift suggestion, try one of these!